escl-ert
escl-ert:

sometimes I sit down and wonder what if pearl and amethyst were born around the same time and went to the same high school
like amethyst was on the wrestling team and pearl was in the fencing club
and they tried to make out once and pearl poked her in the eye and ran away because she wanted it to be perfect
also they were like the couple who were thinking about what would happen if they had a baby and they drew a bunch of opal designs 
and were like 
"thats our kid"

escl-ert:

sometimes I sit down and wonder what if pearl and amethyst were born around the same time and went to the same high school

like amethyst was on the wrestling team and pearl was in the fencing club

and they tried to make out once and pearl poked her in the eye and ran away because she wanted it to be perfect

also they were like the couple who were thinking about what would happen if they had a baby and they drew a bunch of opal designs 

and were like 

"thats our kid"

Jane:I’m not  flustered by a one trick pony buster :B
Sol:no, but seri0usly JN
how’s y0ur head?
she really wired your brain up bad
Jane:I’m good, still seeing all the future mumbo jumbo but that’s pretty normal for me!
I think the only thing that bothers me is the eye and that everyone knows about my secret to being such a good sleuth <:B
Sol: sorry I c0uldn’t fix it
i was really just trying to get her 0ut of y0ur head
and it just sorta snapped y0ur eye up
Jane: It’s fine, now we sorta match!

Jane:I’m not  flustered by a one trick pony buster :B

Sol:no, but seri0usly JN

how’s y0ur head?

she really wired your brain up bad

Jane:I’m good, still seeing all the future mumbo jumbo but that’s pretty normal for me!

I think the only thing that bothers me is the eye and that everyone knows about my secret to being such a good sleuth <:B

Sol: sorry I c0uldn’t fix it

i was really just trying to get her 0ut of y0ur head

and it just sorta snapped y0ur eye up

Jane: It’s fine, now we sorta match!

escl-uwu

escl-uwu:

Imagine that when karkat watches romcoms he has a hideous laugh that makes him smile to the point where you can see all the teeth

and nobody ever comes to watch them with him so that adorableness has never been witnessed 

jane winds up seeing his face when he laughs and has decided she is going to keep him under her boob where he will be safe

she pets his head too

precious tiny boyfriend

escl-uwu

escl-uwu:

THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS AU IS SO THAT I CAN MAKE KARKAT REENACT THE SCENE WHERE WILL SMITH STEPS ON THE ROACH MONSTER’S BABIES LIKE

'I'M SORRY, WAS THAT YOUR AUNTIE?'

MEANWHILE THE ROACH MONSTER IS CONDY AND HE IS STEPPING ON TINY GRUB HEATHENS  

ALSO JANE GETTING SWALLOWED BY HER SO THAT SHE CAN GET HER GUN BACK

this scene for those of you that don’t remember